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Sunday, March 30, 2008

Must be a Mental Handicap...

Novel concept, right? If I have some kind of disability that makes walking long distances difficult, I'm allowed to park closer to the door. Seems simple enough, but there are people out there that sure like to mess with societies rules. I give you the story of mental handicap lady.

So, my girlfriend and I decide we want to go out to eat, and the restaurant of choice is Panda Express. Quick Chinese food, yea! As we arrive, the place is pretty busy, so we end up parking towards the back, no problem, we are both able bodied young adults. As we are walking in, a newish Corvette comes flying around the corner and parks haphazardly into the closest handicap spot. We walk in and she comes running in (I use running to explain that she has NO problem walking, whatsoever.)

She is now behind us in line and I hear her valley-girl conversation behind us talking to what I'm assuming was a friend or fellow moron.

"Yeah, I'm almost there, it's like totally busy in here tonight"

At this point we're already ordering, so shes no more than 1 minute away from ordering. As we are going through the line I'm thinking to myself.. Damn those Eggrolls look delicious, but I don't know, it's already a bunch of food. Normally, my decisions aren't based on vengeance, but this lady deserved it. I think it was actually Karma that lead me to do this, but I did it anyway. She's barking at the guy serving her food what she wants, and I hear her speak the words "Chicken Egg Roll" at this point I decide, you know what, that last eggroll looks EXTREMELY delicious right now. Being in front of her in line, I order one on the spot. Last one enters my bag along with my other food, as she is advised by the guy that, I'm sorry, we're out, you'll need to wait until we make some more.

We pay, and leave, all the while people are passing her in line because she wants her eggroll. I was thinking of reporting her license plate for parking in a handicap spot and being able-bodied, but I figure Karma got her today and I was a happy man.

Friday, March 28, 2008

My Cat is Planning to Take Over the World

Meet Gizmo, He's planning on taking over the world, I think. The problem of course is that I do not speak cat, so I can not simply ask him, but here's my thoughts.

He has a secret agenda, when everyone in the house is sitting around watching TV or playing Guitar Hero, he just runs in, and then runs to another room, no one knows why he does this.

He also has this thing where when you leave, he makes it a point to be exactly where he was when you left, as if he was hiding something. Sure, I can assume he's lazy and just stays in 1 spot for 9 hours I'm at work, but I know better. I have 3 roommates, my girlfriend and 2 others, he does this with all 4 of us. His usual spot is right inside the door leading to the garage under the dining room chairs. Here's Gizmo's day from morning to night...

7:20, Wake Up Troy, usually with excessive cat screams and very fluffy tail in the face.

7:20-8:00 Unaccounted for, as soon as I make the motion to get out of bed, he's gone. Likely to his secret laboratory somewhere in the house.

As I leave at 8:00 he's in his spot under the chairs.

8:00-5:30 I am at work, so he is likely plotting during these times. Unfortunately, plotting could just be another word for sleeping, as he is in fact a cat.

As soon as the garage opens at 5:00 as I have heard from the others, is that he will then run down the stairs to make sure he is under the chair. A quick meeeeeeeeoow and he's gone.

Over the course of the next few hours, you will hear him running around the house. Entering the room to eat, drink, and poop, only to disappear a few minutes later. He's about a year old now, so that would make him about 7 in cat years, anyone know if there is such thing as an "Evil Genius Cat Prodigy?"

Sorry about the quality of the pic, I was doing laundry and the only camera I had was my phone, so it's a little blurry.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Behold! The power of 4!

The other day, Lifehacker had a post about Microsoft releasing Sp3 for XP. Read article here. The release is actually RC2, which in layman's terms, just means it's not quite done yet. But I, being the technofiend that I am, decided, why the hell not, I'll update. Boy did I have the time of my life...

So it all started out innocent, I download the patch to allow my auto-updater to download the sp3 files. And as it starts out, Norton freaks out, starts yelling at me that all my windows files are changing and I should abort now or I will be forever doomed with failure. After this, it finishes downloading, awesome! Tells me to restart, and Bluescreen!


So what is a man in my situation supposed to do? Get pissed off of course. So after a bout of swearing and yelling curse words I've never heard of before(wtf is a Douche-Fuck anyway?). As I calm down, I start assessing my situation, I decide I'll boot into safe-mode and see what I can find out.

Now the fun part about working in safe mode is that I have a 27inch tube monitor, the internet explorer icon was about as big as my head. As I'm looking around my computer I find out, I have no idea wtf I'm looking at. Ever notice that if a guy's car breaks down, the first thing he does it pop the hood and stand there like an idiot thinking he will look masculine before calling a tow truck? Yeah, that was me. Finally, I decide system restore was the way for me. I restore back to right before I started installing sp3 and it's fixed.

Most sane minded human being will have cut their losses and call it a day, NOT THIS IDIOT. I decide, what the hell, I'll uninstall Norton, as I'm using trend micro AV anyway, and try again. I'll let you in on a little secret here... It does the same thing. More Blue, More swearing, More Meowing (yeah, the cat's pissed off now too). It's a good thing I didn't live in the 1700's because Mr. Franklin and I would not likely have gotten along, and I quote, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

You can see where this is going.

Let's do it again! After round 3, with every monitoring program disabled, I try again!

That blue looks awfully familiar...


Ok, so this isn't going too great, so I call it a night and go to bed, very upset at this point and unfortunately taking it out on the poor cat who only wanted to be petted. Oh well.

So, Day 2 of The Service Pack 3 Incident.

After the last system restore, I'm back to my sp2 self thinking I might as well upgrade to the beast that is Vista, but then looking back on my previous conquest, it doesn't seem like a good idea. Now, the smartest thing I have done so far, I go to www.microsoft.com and look at the tech support forums, turns out, there are 2 of us having the same problem!

So you're now sitting there thinking, Troy, you titled this "The Power of 4," please explain.

I was told, check out your registry settings, something might be messed up there. Who would have thought that this:

Was the source of my problems, turns out, if that little 4 there is a 0, everything is fucked up. But if it's a 4, life is peachy. I have no idea wtf that does, but it fixed my problem...

Anyone care to enlighten me with what that does? Or want to share any of your fun windows issues?

Thursday, March 6, 2008

10 Facts about the presidency through the ages.

Everyone loves lists, especially lists about bizarre facts, so here you go world, a list of strange facts about the Presidents of the United States of America.

1. There were only 3 times in history where there was no living former President. This happened in 1800 with the death of Washington, 1876 when Johnson passed, and finally in 1907 when Grover Cleveland died.

2. The most presidents(past, present, and future) alive at one time, was 18, this happened 17 times, mostly around the time period of 1820-1850 with the births of Grant, Hayes, Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland, Harrison, and finally McKinley.

3. The oldest president elected was Ronald Reagan, at 69, when he left office after an eight year term, he was just short of being 78.

4. David Rice Atchison was president for a day, and is not recorded in history books. On March 4, 1849, President Polk's term had expired and President-elect Taylor could not yet be sworn in because it was a Sunday. Thus Atchison became president as he was President Pro Tem of the Senate. The law has since been changed.

5. 4 Presidents were assassinated in office; Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, and Kennedy

6. Though there were assassination attempts on 6 presidents; Jackson, T. Roosevelt, F. Roosevelt, Truman, Ford, and Reagan.

7. Although George W. Bush is the 43rd President, there have only been 42 presidents, Cleveland was president from 1885-1889 and then again from 1893-1897

8. Kennedy was not the youngest president, although he is usually regarded as such, partially because he died at a young age (46) and also because he was the youngest elected as president. The youngest serving president was Theodore Roosevelt; he was elected at 42.

9. Gerald Ford was never actually elected as either president or vice president. He became VP when Nixon's VP Spiro T Agnew resigned, and then when Nixon resigned in 1974.

10. In recent history, no political party has been able to keep office for more than 2 presidents. In all history this has only happened once, from 1868 to 1884. The Republican Party had 4 consecutive presidents elected; Grant - Hayes - Garfield - Arthur.