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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

If I Designed My Car...

The first thing I think of when I get in my car after it's been sitting in the afternoon Phoenix sun is this statement:

"The Designers sure aren't from around these parts now are they?"

I made a fairly cheap photoshop version of what my car should look like:

Photo credit originally goes to MSN Auto's, but it's the same make and model of my current car, so without further adieu, let the show begin.

1. The first and most obvious is the oven mitt placed snugly on the steering wheel. This will make summer driving in Phoenix a whole lot safer since people will be able to use their entire hand, instead of just their palms while driving.

2. Of course the air vents are going to be well placed in the car for optimum cooling, but also, it will have an auto setting that will make it so when the car is turned on it doesn't go straight to full blast(because this is what you had it set for when you were last in the car) and blow hot, scalding air right into your face and extremities.

3. Oh dear lord the chairs, this one is a gimme, any idiot who purchases a car with leather seats in Phoenix deserves anything the elements can throw at them, want your cajones stuck to a chair? you got it! through your pants? oh you've got that one as well my friend.

4. Now the fun part of Arizona summers is that around June 15th, we enter what we call Monsoon Season, which basically means that storms will gather and dump some rain on us every once in awhile. So unfortunately leaving a window cracked while at work is out because you don't know what day you will get the downpour since every day starts out clear and sunny. So what I suggest is a vent on the sides of every door that vent air in and out of the car, but have some sort of lip to keep it from getting rained in.

5. Everyone in Phoenix knows the value of a good window shade, but if you have a small car like a Yaris, good luck setting this thing up without causing yourself to need to run inside the building because you've now caused yourself to be late. What I say is that cars should come with an auto shade feature that you simply pull up from the base and then clip on your rear view mirrors, voila!

Not Shown: Find some way to make it so things you keep in your car storage areas don't become 17 million degrees, I cant even try to put on my sunglasses for at least 5 minutes, and good luck son if you're trying to pay with cash and your digging for coins in your drink holder. Say hello to second degree burns.